


we are free (we're not cool)

by sandpapersnowman



Category: Kick-Ass (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Hair Dyeing, M/M, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:58:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandpapersnowman/pseuds/sandpapersnowman
Summary: Chris bought the bleach, the dye, the gloves, and the applicator brush.





	we are free (we're not cool)

**Author's Note:**

> title bastardized from mika's [We Are Young (Kick-Ass)](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mika/kickass.html)
> 
> I have a consistent au in my head where Dave does actually get to say hi to Chris at the comic shop and they all become friends and it's good and you'll be seeing more of it eventually lmao

"It's not as bad as you think it'll be," Dave promises, again, but Chris still flinches when the comb runs through his fringe again.

Dave still laughs.

" _Relax_."

Chris squirms in the chair.

"I _can't._ "

Dave's helped Katie with her hair a hundred times, and that's all, like, complicated shit with highlights and special toners and foil. Chris just wants a couple streaks at the front like Red Mist has, and Dave has even told him he'll put Kick-Ass Green™ streaks in his own mess of hair if it'll make him feel better about it. 

It's weird that they've gone from being total strangers to him considering Chris one of his best friends in just a couple months, but it's nice, too; he's known Todd and Marty forever, so it's kind of like a fresh start with Chris. They have long, late-night talks about stuff like all the superheroes cropping up across the city, and what they want to do in life, and sometimes it becomes Chris admitting he kind of wishes he had a red streak in his hair like Red Mist but that he's afraid of doing it himself.

Things work out funny like that. 

Dave puts a little rubber hair tie at the top of the section to keep it separate.

"I'm gonna keep the bleach away from your scalp, and it's gonna smell gross, and it's gonna be _fine_."

Chris huffs, but the tiny smile Dave can see in the mirror lets him know Chris trusts him.

He consulted with Katie before they bought the bleach, because Chris's hair is sort of super jet black and Dave has no idea how well bleach will take to it. She basically wished him good luck and told him to Google it. _Google_ had told him they basically shouldn't do it at all, because it needs a shitload of preparation and time and shit to bleach dark hair, so they're mostly winging it instead.

"You _sure_ you don't just want to go somewhere to get it done? I'll go with you." 

Chris glares at him in the mirror.

"I'll send you to beauty school if you want me to go to a professional _that_ badly."

Dave laughs.

"Fine, alright. Don't blame me if it turns out bad, though."

"If it turns out bad, I'm hiring a hitman," Chris deadpans, but goes back to scrunching his eyes shut when Dave lays the first stripe of bleach on. 

"Man, this stuff is weird," Dave mutters. "I have to squish it around, don't move." 

"Won't," Chris says through gritted teeth.

Dave, true to his word, squishes the bleach around in the section Chris had approved. The gist of what Google had told him was basically to get it on as fast as possible so it won't lighten at different times. Keep it off the scalp, keep it off the skin as much as you can, and set a timer. Easy. Super easy.

He makes sure it's all even and smooths another glob on just to be safe, then leans back to check his work. 

"Okay," Dave says, holding his hands up. "How does that look?" 

Chris carefully cracks an eye open. 

"Weird," he groans. "That's right though, yeah. The streak or whatever." 

Dave beams at him in the mirror and doublechecks that he started the timer on Chris's phone before he takes his gloves off. 

"So that's gonna be like 15 to 25 minutes depending on how fast it lightens," Dave recites, "and then you want to rinse it out with cold water to prevent any extra damage to the hair." 

"Okay," Chris nods along. "Then when it dries we put the red in?" 

"Yep," Dave confirms. "Then we do mine in solidarity, even though yours is gonna look way better." 

That makes Chris laugh, at least. 

Man. If Dave ever tells anyone he's Kick-Ass, it's probably going to be Chris.


End file.
